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June 29, 2009

我从小就是个话痨,没事喜欢跟同学聊自己看的故事书。话说的多了,经常就忘记了是下课时间,还是上课时间。于是老师经常让我发挥一下这个“特长”,给同学们讲个故事啥的。能从上课说闲话,变成上台讲故事,我也没想到能这样,我更没想到的是,多年以后,我这个老毛病,再次发作,而我,再次被放在讲台上。

不过这次不是老师拎我,是一群在网上跟我一样无聊的人,及其幕后黑手-谷歌,说你哪!

说到这儿您肯定也明白我说的是啥事儿了,对,就是那个试用报告。

当时我在网上闲逛,脑子里面琢磨的都不是绿坝,而是跟信任有关的东西。一款不知名的小软件,才不值得我费心。我隐隐的觉得,这个信任里面,有很多东西,最主要的是,我觉得我闻到了钱的味道。但是只能闻到而摸不到,又让我很焦躁,于是我就闲逛来消耗这种焦躁,结果脚下一滑,踩到一坨绿东西。

后面的事情基本上我在试用报告里面都交代过了,那篇东西我是在删除绿坝以后的20分钟里面写出来的,除了一些文字上面的小改动,比如把太多的“然后”删掉,就是那样一个东西了。里面的事情基本属实,装个不能用的烂软件,然后删掉,再正常不过了,我当时是又好气又好笑,觉得自己没事居然去装这个玩意儿,写了故事,就不焦躁了。

结果,故事才刚开始。

先是在几个小时以后,发现被keso收录了。一般keso收录以后,总能带来可观的流量,不过我有超级变态的中文算术防spammer工具,里面有包括但是不限于加号和数字10长得一模一样等变态特性,所以大多数带来的流量都会被我挡在门外。不过很快我就发现,某些trackback / pingback是从twitter来的,还有几个是从别的blog来的。

接着事情就有点失控,留言一个接着一个,想到那个变态的中文算术的拦截能力,我都能听到那些不能进来留言的人在骂。这到底是怎么回事,我当时也没太在意,不就是篇搞笑的东西么。

最后还是在keso这篇《三言二拍:今天你绿坝了没有?》里面发现了端倪,我去点了一下keso给的搜索链接,才发现,那篇试用报告,在搜索结果第三行,前面两行,一个是绿坝官网,一个是官网里面的某个链接。

我的第一反应是:靠,谁把我踢进来的?

我的第二反应是:赶紧截屏,留住这个时刻。

事后我总结了一下,这次被踢到前台,有几个因素在起作用:

  1. 做事要看黄历,我写报告的时候,是本地时间6月9号。黄历上曰:6969,宜扫黄打非
  2. 要多几个朋友,特别是朋友多的朋友,这样传话传的快
  3. 写东西要让大家喜闻乐见,板着脸说话,别人会担心欠你的钱
  4. 必要的时候要示弱,让大家来当大侠。要是直接跟大家说,我光用DOS就把绿坝删干净了,大家就不来救你了
就说这么多吧,我接着为信任和钱去焦躁了。

5 Comments »

  1. 博主是不希望因为绿坝娘而惹的一身骚么。。。

    Comment by 尖尖 — June 29, 2009 @ 7:53 pm

  2. 看来我讲故事的水平有所下降…

    Comment by 美人她爹 — June 30, 2009 @ 10:09 am

  3. 你很像我一朋友,爱讲故事的胡同串子,一老北京人儿。

    Comment by guzhu — July 1, 2009 @ 2:57 am

  4. 你真的是无聊的中年人吗,讲的话都好深奥。你不会是弃医从文的吧?

    Comment by 爹的美人 — July 6, 2009 @ 10:22 pm

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